I was explaining to my 4-year-old cousin that some spiders will kill their mate for food after they have babies. I thought this was gross, but she was unimpressed as she said, "humans will kill each other for no reason, at least spiders kill each other for food." I have never been more ashamed to be a human in my life
If Crosby has to get his pants tailored do you think he gets his pockets expanded too? Like he’s working toward being able to hide his whole body in an emergency pocket one day? So when people start approaching him he just goes into his pocket and the fan is like “what the fuck I thought I saw Sid but it’s actually just a huge pocket. Woah this fucked me up.”
i started reading this and thought it was about me and then i realized hockey exists.
My favorite thing about marching band is that one of the first things they tell you is ‘If a judge is in your way, run them over’